What a boy wants

A collar is an outward sign of a commitment given to the boy by his Sir. It is similar in meaning to a wedding ring but worn around the neck instead of the finger. IT is NOT given after an hour trick or a weekend tryst. The collar signifies that the boy belongs to that SPECIFIC boy to be guided and treated with respect; NOT abused.

There are three types of collars; first comes the collar of consideration. This is when a Sir is interested in a boy and wants to show it. At this time the Sir will start to lay down some rules to work up to the next collar. There is no set time periods between collars. When the Sir feels the boy is ready for the next, He will make it known.

The second collar is the “Training collar”. The purpose of the training collar is to indicate the Sirs interest to move beyond mere consideration and work more towards the training of a boy in the rituals and protocols in the Sir’s house intended to train the boy on how the Sir wants the boy to be. Similarly to the consideration collar, there are no set time periods between this collar and the next, In many a training phase, the Sir and the boy will begin negotiations and form a formal contract between them both. This is another topic to be covered another time.

The third and final collar is a permanent the collar. This is the final collar and the boy is now Sirs permanent boy. This is what a boy works for and wants.

i was taught that a collar was usually given AFTER a significant amount of time had passed or a Sir has determined the boy is a good match and no longer requires consideration or training. Some Sirs choose to have a formal ceremony, while others have a more private collaring. Neither is more correct, it is what is determined in the power exchange between the Sir and boy.

Given that we live in the 21st century, and often boys have jobs in business or other industries where the wearing of a formal collar would interfere with the job, in that case, then the Sir and boy can discuss the practicalities of a smaller “work/travel” collar and a formal collar.
This was a tough article to write, it is pretty cut and dry. If I have left anything out, please let me know!

Playtime Explored: When is pain not pain?

Often people outside the scene don’t see the appeal in any of the things SMBD do that look painful. What’s enjoyable about being hit? Where’s the fun in getting bruised? Well, think about this. Have you ever had intense sex and afterwards noticed bite marks on your neck of which you had no memory? What happened was your love partner bit you, HARD, hard enough that it bruised you, and all you felt was another jolt of pleasure? If they bit you that hard when you weren’t having sex, you would scream “OUCH!!!” because it would hurt a lot! But when you are sexually aroused, your pain tolerance goes way up, and stimulation that you usually feel as pain is now actually pleasurable.

This is common knowledge. Another usual explanation is that the brain produces endorphins, natural opiates, to compensate for pain. You actually get high off the sensation. The “runner’s high” comes from pushing the body painfully for so long that the endorphins kick in; the rush you get after eating chili peppers comes from the same source; and that’s what makes it enjoyable for SM players to be whipped or spanked or whatever. It’s not pain, its pleasure! All athletes that are “hooked on exercise” are essentially masochists who enjoy stressing their bodies to get that chemical response. So your friend who enjoys being spanked may actually be a lot less masochistic than your average marathon runner!

Endorphins are by no means The Single Explanation for why masochists find intense sensation to be desirable. Not every masochist floats away blissfully while being whipped, nor would they all even want to. The ways to experience intense sensation varies from dreamlike rush to stinging ouch to irritating maddening burn to soothing warmth to tears-in-the-eyes throbbing… and whatever the sensation, there is likely someone who enjoys it.

Some people consider all this absurd. “How could you WANT pain?” The best answer I can give is that some people simply seem to be calibrated differently. They want more sensation; they find the intensity thrilling and exciting, whereas someone else might find it overpowering and agonizing. People like different amounts of spice in their food; why not in their sexual encounters? Each person experiences sensation differently, and if you want more, there are safe ways for you to get it. Getting what you want, safely, can make your life much happier.

If you have questions, please feel free to email me. “Education’s purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.”- Malcolm S. Forbes.

Playtime Explored: What and Why BDSM

Playtime Explored: What and Why BDSM

Paul Brown
Chicago Den
 

Paul Brown

"BDSM" is an acronym of "B&D" (Bondage & Discipline), "D&S" (Dominance & Submission), and "S&M" (sadomasochism). "BDSM" refers to any or all of these things, and a lot of stuff besides.

Tying up your lover is BDSM; so is flogging that person, or bossing that person around, or any of a thousand other things. BDSM is highly erotic, usually (though not always) involves sex or sexual tension; and is highly psychologically charged. One person (the "submissive") agrees to submit to another person (the "dominant"); or, alternately, one person agrees to receive some sort of sensation, such as spanking, from another.

Some people like to be submissive all the time, some people like to be dominant all the time; some people like to switch, being submissive one day and dominant the next.

Many people practice some element of BDSM in their sexual lives without even necessarily being aware of it. They may think of "S&M" as "That sick stuff that people do with whips and cattle prods and stuff," yet still blindfold one another from time to time, or tie one another down and break out the whipped cream...

All of these things are "BDSM." BDSM is not necessarily hardcore sadomasochism; it can be remarkably subtle and sensual and soft. Pinning your partner to the bed and running silk or ice cubes or rabbit fur over your lover's body qualifies as "BDSM" (specifically, of a variety called "sensation play").

There are many people involved in BDSM who enjoy tying others up, or being tied up themselves, but who do not enjoy S&M--that is, they aren't interested in inflicting or receiving pain. Sometimes, one partner just ties up the other, as a form of foreplay. Similarly, there are many people who may like the psychological control they get from ordering their lovers to do things, but do not care for being physically restrained or tied, or for tying up their lovers.

The image of BDSM that is portrayed in many materials of this sort has about as much to do with BDSM as the child's tale "Jack and the Magic Beanstalk" has to do with agriculture. These materials show little more than men being used in various unoriginal ways for men's enjoyment, usually by force. BDSM is a mutual activity that is driven more by the needs of the submissive than by the needs of the dominant.

People who are practicing BDSM in any of its trillions of forms are doing it voluntarily, for fun. It's a way to explore. Everything that happens in a BDSM relationship is consensual; and believe it or not, it's not just about the dominant getting what he or she wants--it's more about the submissive getting what he wants.

An abuser has no regard for the feelings, needs, or limits of the victim. A BDSM dominant is concerned above all else with the needs and desires of the submissive. Pretty straightforward, really.

I leave you with this thought; "People don't ask for facts in making up their minds. They would rather have one good, soul-satisfying emotion than a dozen facts." 

My Leather Life

I had a blast this last weekend at IML34 in Chicago! It was so great to meet old friends and make new ones. It is funny, most the gay community do not accept Leather folk, and I just don't understand that? We make up such a small percentage and they look down upon us? Leather folk are always and I mean always there for you. If I needed help and I needed it right now, I could pick up the phone right now and make an emergency call and I would have some of Leather brothers and sisters right there.

this Richard Savvy Mr Sydney Leather 2012

One great thing I have to say, is that the BDSM lifestyle has gone mainstream! With the book 50 shades of gray. I hope most people read it and see the love and the compassion on in it and not all the S&M sex in it. I hope it opens their eyes and see the love we all feel for each other.

I don;t think people understand how loving and how much money is to be made from the Leather community. I think I heard someone say it was going to be right around 60 million for the city of Chicago. That is a lot of money! Sponsorship this were was Miller Lite beer and Orbitz. Some big names there. Plus the hotels bid on where it is going to be each year. They all want the contact.

Eric International Mr Leather 2011

The BDSM community does a lot of fund raiser for all kinds of places. My Best Friend Mike Prater has done a lot himself. I am sure he raised over $10,000 in the past 2 years. Never asking any thing for himself. We are a caring and giving group of people. I wish evryone would take the time and go to one of these leathr events and just see what is going on and all the good they are doing.

Mike Prater Mr Mid-west Leather 2011 (my best friend)

Please if you have the time, read, get to know someone, talk to someone about the Leather community and don't be narrow minded about it and just think about all the kinky sex, ther is so much more!